I was having me a burger in a dirty greasy-spoon cafe.
I was eatin’ it with relish when the man beside me turned to say,
“What’s that pubic hair doin’ layin’ in your bun?”
I said,”I never saw it sittin’ there, are you sure it’s really one?”
He stood up on the table, and said,”Now looky here,
“I’ve traveled all over this country, and I know pubic hair.”
“I’ve seen pubic hair, man. I’ve never liked ’em there, man.
I’ve even got my share, man, beneath my underwear, man.
Stickin’ out here and there, man. I’ve seen pubic hair.
“I’ve seen great ones, straight ones, always-on-your-plate ones,
Long ones, strong ones, little curly blonde ones,
Red ones, dead ones, layin’-on-the-head ones,
Black ones, brown ones, little ducky-down ones,
Short ones, thick ones, growin’-from-your-dick ones,
Grown ones, shown ones, lone ones, chrome ones.
“I’ve seen bushy ones, cushy ones, up-against-your-pussy ones,
Saved ones, shaved ones, floatin’-in-your-gravy ones,
Dirty ones, flirty ones, fluffin’-up-the-birdy ones,
Neat ones, sweet ones, on-the-toilet-seat ones,
Hipper ones, gripper ones, catch-’em-in-the-zipper ones,
Grown ones, shown ones, lone ones, phony ones